Today I'd like to share with you my thoughts on the
upcoming holiday season and that most complex event: the
corporate holiday party that coincides with an economic
meltdown.

Despite the weak economy, or perhaps because of it, most
companies in the U.S. plan to carry on with their holiday
parties. As a leader in attendance at this event, it's
important to strike a tone that is festive without
appearing to lose sight of the larger context. Remember
that all eyes are on you, even in non-office settings -
perhaps even more so in non-office settings where your
behavior will be seen as "the real you."

Corporate holiday parties remain one of the weirdest
hybrids of work and play that I have ever experienced.
They're a veritable minefield in which if you perform well,
absolutely no one will remember you, and if you perform
poorly, everyone will remember you for years to come -- for
all the wrong reasons. In the spirit of ensuring the former
and not the later, I offer these tips.

How to Get in the Right State of Mind

As a leader, if you're stressed and fearful, your feelings
will leak out no matter how hard you try to appear
confident. The more you feel freaked out, the more people
around you will feel freaked out, no matter how hard you
try to hide it, so you've got to go to the source.

Whenever you feel fearful, focus your attention on the
vision for the company, on positive steps the leadership
team is taking to lead the organization through the
recession.

I sat in on a senior staff meeting held by one of my
clients earlier this week and he was absolutely inspiring.
He told his team, "We have to plan for the worst, but we
also have to plan for the success that will follow this
downturn -- because when it comes back, we will see
absolutely enormous demand." While acknowledging a rough
current situation, he was also reassuring his team that he
saw a bright future for the company.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you discuss the prospect of
lay-offs or plant closures at the holiday party! However,
do keep your mindset positive in the coming weeks so that
whenever you are surrounded by employees, that positive
energy rubs off on them and your upbeat attitude is
authentic.

How to Choose Your Attire: This Year, It's Easy

This year, even if you are doing well, it's a good idea to
dial down the bling a notch or two.

- Leave the gold Rolex at home. You don't have to wear a
Swatch, but please be cautious about flashing a $30,000
timepiece to people who are worried about getting laid off,
paying their bills, and other basic needs.

- For the female executives, this is an easier year for
corporate party attire than last year, since a more
classic, subdued look is appropriate to the economic
climate, as well as to your role as an executive. Choose
from the many options out there, or go full-on
recession-chic by wearing something already in your closet.

- I always greatly admire a woman with the guts and style
to wear an elegant tuxedo to a corporate event, but only
try this if you have great style and the confidence to pull
it off without showing off. Corporate parties are about
reinforcing teamwork, not about individual stars outshining
the rest of the pack.

- There's no need to be downright drab. It's a party after
all. Wear a little bling if it's your style. Just don't
take it as far as you might in boom times.

All bets are off if you work in the entertainment industry.
If that's the case, take everything I've written and ignore
it.

And Now, for the Part You Really Don't Want Me to Tell
You...

If you're as outgoing as I am when stone cold sober, just
imagine how goofy you must look after a few drinks. A
general guideline - you can probably handle about half as
much as you think!

Particularly limit yourself to one or two drinks during
cocktails, since there's more to come with dinner.

This tip applies even if your superiors are stone-cold
blottoed. That promotion or transfer you may want will in
part be based on your good judgment in a variety of
settings. No, it's not fair, is it?

How to be a Great Conversationalist - a Pain-Free Approach

Nobody really cares what you do for a living or what
projects you're working on. Yet, in American culture, like
work-a-holic lemmings we instinctively ask, "What do you
do?" This is a particularly sensitive subject this year as
many employees and spouses at the event may be recently
laid off or anticipating the ax coming down soon. Don't let
party conversations turn glum by opening with shop talk.
Make this party a chance for people to forget about their
problems for an evening.

Become the greatest conversationalist they've ever met in
their entire lives by not asking about work. Try, "What
interests you outside of work?," "What are you doing these
days for fun?," "What are your kids up to?," or anything
else that invites conversation on a subject of interest
other than work.

Follow-up questions help, too. ("You do scrapbooking with
your friends. I didn't realize that was a group hobby. How
did you become interested in it?" "So your teenagers are
budding Emo-Punk t-shirt designers. Wow. I've never heard
of that. Tell me more.")

Introduce yourself to every person at your table, and talk
with each of them at some point during dinner, including
the spouses, who will speak highly of you forever simply
because you steered the conversation away from endless
droning on about the office.

Bonus points if you remember names and introduce people to
each other. Here's a great trick for remembering names. My
husband swears by it. As soon as you are introduced, say
the individual's name, as in, "Pleased to meet you, Kate."
Then use it two more times early in the conversation. The
repetition makes it stick in your head.

And Now for my Favorite Tip for a Sit-Down Dinner

When you sit down next to the CEO, avoid eating his or her
food by remembering that your bread plate is to the left
and your drink is to the right. Cue yourself by forming an
"o" with your index finger and thumb. On the left hand,
this forms the letter "b" for bread, and on the right hand,
the letter "d" for drink.

Try it now. See? Nifty, huh?

Don't worry about getting caught doing this. It's a great
conversation starter. For example, the person next you just
might say, "Ah, I see you read Traveling Light..."

----------------------------------------------------
Jennifer Selby Long, Founder and Principal of Selby Group,
provides executive coaching and organizational development
services. Jennifer's knack is helping clients navigate the
leadership and organizational challenges triggered by
change and growth. She knows firsthand that great plans
often fail because companies don't take into account the
human factors that come into play when implementing them.
Visit Jennifer at: http://www.selbygroup.com

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